i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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