Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
