I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
