My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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