dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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