I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
