My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
