Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
