I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
