do herpes really smell.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize