i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
