He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
