whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
