I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
