i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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