So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
