I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
