i think i have herpe
just one?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
