Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize