Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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