I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
