he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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