i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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