so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
