Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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