I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
