she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize