Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
