He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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