I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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