Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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