I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
