I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
