Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
whose parrot is this?
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