i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize