...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
