I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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