How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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