...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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