my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
