Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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