talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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