are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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