I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
