But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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