My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
