you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
