she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
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He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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