That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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