There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
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Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.