I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
