listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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