Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so that wasnt chicken after all
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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