Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
