I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
