My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
