Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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