Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
