google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
