Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
