I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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