At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
