on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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