I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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