it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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