my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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