He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's Friday. Sex?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
