me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
